Love: Kon's Way
by Inuchigo
Summary: What happens when a love letter goes to the wrong people? Pairings Momo/Tosh Ren/Ruk Uryu/Ori T just in case
1. Chapter 1

Love: . . . Kon style

**Disclaimer: I do not own bleach if I did I would totally put Momo back in the series I miss her.**

**This is my First Bleach fanfic of and Idea I got while driving a tractor. **

One day everyone in Bleach was in the Soul Society because they had nothing to do. Aizen was to busy making Hanbel's boobs as big as they are . . . . . I MEAN MAKING ESPADA. And Kon had a devious and yet slightly retarded idea.

Kon: I GOT AN AMAZING IDEA, I will write Rukia a love letter and not say who it is there for she will obviously think it is the Renji and –with hatred in his voice- Ichigo. She will go off and meet them in the Bridge of Love right here in the Soul Society at the romantic time of . . . .uh. . . . Umm. . . . . .6:00 and it is 12 now, and when Rukia's heart is broken she will turn to ME FOR COMFORT AND RUKIA WILL BE MINE MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

So Kon went off and wrote his letter. His Letter read:

_Dear my sweet love, _

_I am tired of always seeing you from close and afar. I have this message for you. I LOVE YOU. Meet me at the Bridge of Love at 6:00 pm and I will meet you there. There we will discuss our love. So until I see you. _

_Love. _

_Someone who you've known for a long time. _

_P.S. Dress fancy_

Yes Kon had it all figured out. So while all the important Female Soul Reapers were in the Gym Kon snuck in.

Kon: Ok this is Rukia's locker –puts note in locker- NOW I WILL HIDE

So Kon jumped into the nearest bag he could find and waited, and waited, and waited until.

Voice: OMG RUKIA –Kon snickers- I GOT A LOVE LETTER –Kon does anime jaw drop-

Rukia: Great Hinamori what does it say?

Momo: It says My Sweetest Love –squeals- IT IS FROM TOSHIRO

Rangiku: You sure?

Momo: Yes it says from someone who has known you for a long time and who else is there.

Rukia: Good point

Rangiku: Yeah OOH I love this –she hugs Momo tight against chest- I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO

Momo: Uh oh it is 2 I have to get a Kimono, do my hair, make up, and avoid Toshy-kun until tonight. BYE –runs away-

Rukia: Well I have to go now bye Rangiku –leaves-

Now Kon had to run and catch Momo before she got her heart broken, but he was in the wrong bag.

Rangiku: WHAT THE HELL ARE ZYOU DOING

Kon: Shut up you –eyes Rangiku- you marvelous beauty of female evolution

-Rangiku proceeds to beat up Kon-

Meanwhile with Momo running the letter slipped out and flew. And it flew and flew until it landed on a Soul Reaper's face. It was Izuru Kira.

Izuru: Hmmmmm. OMG MOMO LOVES ME and it makes sense because we both lost captains. I HAVE TO GET READY.

**And with that the plot begins. Read and Review. I will update if I have the time. Bye.**


	2. Chapter 2

**No Chapter Two **

**Disclaimer: I OWN NUTHIN**

**Announcement: Thanks to all who have reviewed I got like 10 reveiws in the first three days of this new fic of mine thank you. **

So Kira was running home all happy and decided to take a shortcut. He had so much to do before he met Momo. He had to avoid Momo as to not give anything away, get a man's kimono, do his hair, nails, get a haircut.

Kira: -holding sword to throat- The fangirls LIKE my hair.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh. . . . . . . nevermind. But in his eagerness he wandered into the 11th squad barracks where Ikkaku and Kenpachi were having a heated debate.

Kenpachi: I SAY HE"S GAY –drawing sword-

Ikkaku: I SAY HE"S NOT JUST A PEDOPHILE

There blades were about to clash when. . .

Kira: I AM IN LOVE

Ikkaku: . . . . . wtf

Kenpachi: . . . . . . .

Yachiru: YAY EMO-KUN

Kira: OOH I have to get ready bye –runs off-

Ikkaku: . . . . . . . what the

Kenpachi: Aw screw this I'm gonna go do some –sigh- paperwork –mutters- damn new recruits

As Kenpachi and Yachiru walked away Yumachika came up and noticed a piece of paper lying there on the ground. Yep you guessed it Kira had dropped Kon's love letter.

Yumachika: Hey Ikkaku look at this

Ikkaku: YES PAPER –snatches- PAPER AIRPLANE

Yumachika: NO YOU IDIOT –snatches back- it's a love letter

Ikkaku: So

Yumachika: So let's read it THEN make a paper airplane out of it

Ikkaku: Ok

So they read it. I won't type it out loud because I feel like a doof trying to remember it so go back and look in chapter one. Now let's check on Kon to see how he's doing.

Kon: -in trashcan- ow damn that boob lady overreacting just cause I jumped into her cleavage. NOT MY FAULT HER BOOBS ARE BIG. Now what was I doing. . . . .OH CRAP THAT LETTER –jumps out- I have to get it before I cause the first SOUL REAPER WAR –runs outside-

Nemu: Catptain look –points at kon-

Captain. . . . .creepy hat: AAAWWW Obviously a Mod Soul but why is he in a stuffed animal? NEMU GET HIM!!! –yes I know his name but it is a pain in the but to spell so deal with it-

Kon: Alright Mo. . . ma went this way –hears footsteps- huh –turns- huh WTF _gets kidnapped-

-minutes later-

Nemu: He's stirring captain

Creepy Hat: Good alright little mod soul why don't I just DISECT YOUR BRAIN

Kon: NO THE LADIES LOVE MY LOOKS it's just my personality they hate

Creepy Hat: True but I never get to use my scalpel so LET"S START

Kon: NOOOOOO

Ok back to Ikkaku and Yumachika who spent minutes making and airplane.

Ikkaku: THERE IT IS –holds up paper plane- YAY –throws-

Yumachika: Well isn't that pretty. . . uh oh

Ikkaku: What uh oh . . . uh oh

The Uh-oh's were there because the Airplane just happened to fly straight through an opened window and into Kenpachi's desk WHILE KENPACHI WAS ROKING. Suffice to say Ikkaku and Yumachika ran to the office, but it was to late. Kenpachi had started reading.

Kenpachi: Hmmmmm Great Love yadda yadda, Bridge, Some one who has known you for a long time. . . .It must be from Soi Fon.

Ikkaku and Yumachika: WTF SOI FON TAICHO Why her

Kenpachi: Well duh. . .we both like fighting, . . . . and she is always staring at me in meetings.

Yachiru: But isn't that because you two stand in front of each other?

Kenpachi: Eh technicalities . . .I bet she won't show up until 6:00 so I might as well wait then tell her I love fighting more than her. . . that and Yachiru is cooler. . .I may need my sword for this.

Yachiru: YAY FIGHTING! We have to go NOW Ken-chan

Kenpachi: Yeah yeah see you two later.

As they left Kenpachi refolded the airplane and threw it out of the window. Ikkaku thought they were free but Yumachika didn't.

Yumachika: IKKAKU WE HAVE TO GET THAT LETTER BACK

Ikkaku: Why?

Yumachika: What if Kenpachi thinks we wrote the letter HE'LL KICK OUR ASSES FOR TRYING TO TRICKI HIM.

Ikkaku: But he won't think we wrote it

Yumachika: He will either beat us up for lying OR beat us for using someone else's letter

Ikkaku: Well what will getting the letter do for us?

Yumachika: We can track down the writer and make him confess

Ikkaku: Ok. . .CRAP THAT LETTER IS ALL THE WAY OVER THERE AND IT IS HEADING –gasp- TO HITSUGAYA TAICHO'S OFFICE

Yes, letter landed in Toshiro's office and he saw it and began reading. Rangiku walked in, saw the letter and assumed Momo had given it back in case Toshiro would forget, or make it romantic. . . or . . . . .words. . .should go here. . . But Rangiku was surprised by his response.

Toshiro: -sigh- Dang it Rukia

**HOW DO YA'll like that And I only begun to fight. Review and tell your Bleach Fanatic friends. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: I own nuthin and Nexsis never pays me**

**Nexsis: SHUT UP SLAVE**

Rangiku's jaw hit the floor: AAAAHHHH ICNK IS UKIAN

Hitsugya: Rangiku put your jaw back on I can't understand you

Rangiku: WHY WOULD YOU THINK its RUKIA?

Hitsugya: Because we are both out casts of the Rukon. District, we have ice type swords . . . and opposites attract. So yes problem is there is some one. . . . Else I like. . . . –sigh- Rukia won't show up until 7 so yeah I guess I'll go get read –stuffs letter into pocket- BACK TO WORK MATSAMOTO –leaves cropping letter O_O-

Rangiku: Wow this is turning into a soap opera YAY

Now Ikkaku and Yumachika both saw the letters and once again tried to catch it by cutting at it. For whatever reason they had it must have made sense because if there goal was to CATCH the letter then WHY would they have they're swords activated. Well any way the sword flew away from them as Yumachika got hit in the back of the head by Ikkaku. Now the letter flew right in front of . . . . Take five seconds to guess.

1

2

3

4

5

RENJI

So Renji picked up the letter and read it and what was his first reaction.

Renji: . . . . must be from Rukia –sees Rukia across the street- Ah what the hell I might as well just ask her out –tosses letter which flutters away-

Renji: HEY RUKIA WAIT UP

So Renji runs to Rukia but unknowingly runs over Kon as he was walking out of Mayria's office/lab. And by walk I mean limp. HAHA KON

Rukia: Yes Renji

Renji: Do you wanna go out with me tonight

Rukia: Why yes I would pick me up at 6 ok

Renji: Ok –Rukia hits him in the groin- OW WHAT WAS THAT FOR

Rukia: I needed to kiss you and you weren't leaning my way –kisses- See you at 6 –walks away-

Renji: Wow my kind of women –walks-

Now what do you think Kon thought well he was totally happy for Renji and Rukia. And if you believe this then you should be slapped.

Kon: NO MY RUKIA DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN SHIT SHIT SHIT . . . . .OOH THE LETTER MINE

So Kon tried to catch the letter which only made it fly more. It flew and flew until it hit Ichigo full in the face. Kon stopped in fear when he saw Ichigo reading it thinking. Son of a. It was at this Ichigo looked at Kon and said

Ichigo: Kon I know you wrote this letter AND I know what you were planning.

Kon: Uh oh IT WASN'T ME IT WAS . . . . . . TESSAI. . . . .KISUKE. . . . .what were you thinking.

Ichigo: It is obvious you wrote this letter for –Kon hold breath- ME

Kon: Ok COME AGAIN

Ichigo: You see by giving the letter to me I would go to this bridge thing and think that I was stood up. Thus meaning I would be acting emo for the rest of the series then the big wigs would have no choice but to name YOU the main character. THUS GIVING YOU ABSOLUTE POWER. But I got there first –folds letter and toss- Kon YOU WILL DIE

Kon: OH SHIT AGAIN

Now as Kon ran the letter flew right into the hands of Youroichi. Who in turn tossed it away without looking as she had to rape Kisuke?

Youroichi: What? –Holds sword to throat-

Um I mean to have Sex?

Youroichi: Better

Now the letter flew right into the hands of Soi Fon

Soi Fon: OH MY LADY YOU DO CARE

**OMG RENJI WAS SMART. Ok Review and sorry this took so long but I have come down with a terrible disease. Lazy writeritis. That's where fanfic writers become REALLY lazy. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year**


	4. Chapter 4

**It all comes to an End**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. . . . .not yet anyways**

**Announcement: Tis the last chapter so I will make it longer than the others**

Ok I forgot where I was when I last ended the chapter. So until I do just try and imagine Ikkaku and Yumachika doing the cha-cha.

-five hours pass by-

Ikkaku: HOW MUCH LONGER

Yumachika: UNTIL HE COMES BACK

OH YEAH THAT'S WHERE I WAS. The two shinigami who I left glared at the noble and all powerful author, WHO if they try something funny will turn them gay. So the glaring shinigami ran faster than Rock Lee when he's hi. ON LIFE

!!

Anywho Soi Fon caught the letter and thought her lady gave it to her. So unlike everyone else she ran to get dressed, rather than going to rape Youroichi. Like she does with her Youroichi blow up doll.

Soi Fon: THAT WAS A SECRET –author gets stabbed-

Me: Great now there's blood on the keyboard. –Soi Fon runs to get ready- I HOPE YOU BECOME ALLERGIC TO CATS.

Meanwhile with Ikkaku and Yumachika they were lost in finding the letter. They WERE gonna give up until a little Kon like person ran by being chased by Ichigo. OH and Kon had the letter.

Ikkaku and Yumachika: THE LETTER –they run too-

Ichigo: Why do you guys want the letter?

Ikkaku: If we don't get it back OUR CAPTAIN WILL KICK OUR ASSES UNTIL WE'RE WHEREING THEM FOR HATS

Yumachika: And that would NOT be beautiful

Ichigo: Well that stuffed terd wrote the letter so you catch him and we can make sure Kon get's his just desserts

Ikkaku: HE DID

Yumachika: THAT BASTERD

All three: LET'S GET HIM

Kon: WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME

All Three: BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IDIOT

So Kon was running like hell and all three reapers had there swords released. Kon was very lucky to avoid a many bladed thingy, spear, and a butter knife. So all three reapers used that flash step thing and made a triangle around Kon. Just as they were gonna bring there swords down they. . . . . . well. . . . . . . . . they got stuck in Yumachika's sword.

Ichigo: HOW DOES THIS KINDA SHIT HAPPEN

Ikkaku: I BLAME YOU YUMICHIKA

Yumichika: IT'S NOT MY FAULT MY SWORD IS FOUR BLADES IN ONE

Ichigo: IT KINDA IS

Ok while those guys were arguing Kon took his chance to . . . . . RUN LIKE HELL. Unfortunetly for him Yumichika deactivated his sword and the three resumed the chase with the full fury of Ichigo, Ikkaku, and Yumichika after him. This went on for an hour or two but we won't know because it's time that everyone congregates at the romantic bridge. SO LET'S GO

At the bridge Toshiro was running really fast. He only had a minute or two until he had to be there. He came up on the south side of the bridge where in the center. There she was her back was turned to him, so Toshiro couldn't see the face of Momo. Toshiro took a deep breath and walked over to Momo. As he approached she turned and BOY was Toshiro surprised.

Toshiro: MOMO O_O

Yes it was indeed Momo, but she really had gone all out to be ready. I really don't know how to describe traditional Japanese clothing but I will try. Momo had put on a very fine kimono it had blue and white flower patterns on it. Her hair even had a white flower in it. There was a certain scent coming from her and her hair was twisted up in an attractive bun. Also she was showing a small cleavage but not to Rangiku sizes, just a modest one. Toshiro had to admit that Momo was the most beautiful he had ever seen her. Not that that was hard he had always been attracted to her. But still had had been expecting Rukia, sure he was gonan break her heart but still, Momo being here was a shock. Toshiro would have said something but a cool voice in his head started talking. Yes it was Hyoinmaru Toshiro's sword.

_Hyoinmaru: Master she is beautiful isn't she_

_Toshiro: Yes she is, but what is she doing here maybe I should ask. _

_Hyoinmaru: NO something tells me that she was expecting YOU even if you weren't_

_Toshiro: Well what should I do?_

_Hyoinmaru: Play it cool master, compliment her maybe Rukia sent you that letter to get you to come and be with Momo_

_Toshiro: Thanks old friend. . . . . how do you know so much?_

_Hyoinmaru: Later she's opening her mouth_

Momo: Hey Shiro

Toshiro: Hey Momo, you uh . . . . look beautiful

Momo: -smiles- Thank you. You look very handsome . . . isn't that the ceremonial kimono captains where?

Toshiro: It is thanks for noticing –_ok good small talk this is going great . . . . is that more people coming?_-

Indeed it was. Over the west side of ther bridge came laughter. There came Rukia wearing the Kuchiki courting kimono that the women wear on special occasions. It made Rukia very cute since it proportioned well with her size. Renji was wearing a cross between a mens kimono and a tux. I'll leave you all to imagine it. The two were laughing when they saw Toshiro and Momo.

Renji: Hey Momo, Captain Hitsugya

Toshiro: Renji Rukia –nods-

Momo: OMG RUKIA YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL

Rukia: YOU TOO MOMO –they hug-

Toshiro: What are you doing here Renji

Renji: Well me and Rukai are on a date and I thought that visiting this place would be romantic and stuff like that. What are you two doing here?

Toshiro: Ask um. . . . . we were meeting here for a date

WHAT

Everyone turned surprised to see Izuru standing there. I won't say what he's wearing because I am tired of exclamations. Or descriptions. . . . . . its debatable.

Izuru: NOOOOOOO MOMO CAME HERE TO BE WITH ME

Momo and Toshiro: WHAT THE FRAK??? WHERE DID YOU GET THAT IDEA???

Izuru: IT WAS IN THE LETTER SHE DROPPED WHEN SHE RAN BY ME

Momo: . . . . . . Oh that's where I left it I got it from Toshiro

Toshiro: WHAT LETTER I didn't send a letter I got one from Rukia

Rukia: WHAT I didn't send a letter Renji asked me out

Renji: Actually I got a letter and assumed it was from you Rukia and I thought screw this I'll ask her. So if it weren't for this "letter" I would not have had the courage to ask her.

Just then Soi Fon came and boy was she confused to see all these people here.

Soi Fon: What are you idiots doing here I am supposed to meet Yoroichi-sama here.

Speaking of which Youroichi was under the bridge making out with Kisuke until she heard her name. Looking around she saw Rangiku holding in her laughter from the convo above. Sighing Youroichi went top side to see what was wrong.

Youroichi: WHAT IS WITH THE YELLING

Soi Fon: RIGHT SAMA YOU SENT ME A LETTER SAYING TO MEET YOU HERE

Youroichi: . . . . . . . . –moves head to one side- What

Just then Kenpachi showed up. Geez for the most romantic spot in the Soul Society there sure are a lot of people. Kenpachi immediately saw Soi Fon and started going into a speech.

Kenpachi: Look I'm sorry Soi Fon I got your letter and I don't love you in that way I only love fighting. . . . . . and the occasional one night stand so if you want you can come and we can drink awhile until . . . . –interrupted-

Soi Fon: I DIDN'T SEND YOU A LETTER YOU PERVE –bitch slaps Kenpachi-

_Kenpachi: Wow now that's a woman_

Youroichi: OK So apparently no one sent a letter to anybody but it exists so where did it come from?

RIGHT on cue Kon ran by still being pursued by Ichigo, Ikkaku, and Yumichika. Kon was still freaking scared then he saw the bridge and an evil idea jumped into his head. With a strength most sane people wouldn't believe if they didn't see it, Kon pile drived the bridge. Then with all the speed he could muster he tore the thing apart and started thworing chunks of wood at the three people. Unfortunatly After a few big chunks the bridge collapsed on Kon. Youroichi Caught Kisuke, Renji caught Rukia, Kenpachi caught Soi Fon, and Rangiku caught Izuru.

Momo: WTF WAS THAT

Ichigo: IT WAS ALL KON HE WROTE A FAKE LETTER FROM ORIHIME OR RUKIA TO ME AND TRIED TO . . . . . SCREW IT READ THE LAST FEW CHAPTERS TO HERE MY RANT.

Kon: OK OK OK MAYBE I DID A ROTTEN THING, but it all worked out right?? I mean look –points to Toshiro and Momo holding eachother- Those two are together and we all probably found out we liked someone who we would never have liked before tonight right? So I think in the end I did good.

Eveyone agreed to that.

Soi Fon: HOWEVER you still broke our Bridge of Romance and for that you will pay

Kon: -gulps- How-w i-i-is t-t-t-that?

And so everything turned out great. Toshiro and Momo got together and are currently going out. Renji and Rukia are too. Kenpachi started sparring with Soi Fon to the relief of Ichigo, Ikkaku, and Yumichika. Youroichi and Kisuke immediately left to go have sex. Apperently nothing turns cat women and shop owners on more than a bridge collapsing. As for Kon well in order to pay for a new bridge he had to be the chemicals tester for Kurotsasuchi. Currently Kon has turned into, a rock, a dildo, boobs. . . . somehow, an iPod -.5 gb-, and lastly he also got turned into a fairy. Boy does he love his job.

Kon: I F*****ING HATE ALL OF YOU

Nemu: shush now drinmk this –pours a sparkleing blue thing down kon's throat-

Kon: -after 2 minutes- S**T I TURNED INTO EDWARD CULLEN

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BURN ON TWILIGHT SUCCESS. Thank your for reading bye bye.


End file.
